


Of hope and despair

by Kimyona_hotaru



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 20:35:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5599953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimyona_hotaru/pseuds/Kimyona_hotaru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Blue rose - A perfectly blue rose is still elusive like the perfectly black rose. Blue roses cannot be achieved naturally so they represent the unattainable or the mysterious. Blue roses therefore embody the desire for the unattainable. They say "I can't have you, but I can't stop thinking about you."</p></blockquote>





	Of hope and despair

A tall, lanky blond stood out from the bustling crowd as he crossed one of the many streets that carved out parts of Tokyo. The months had grown colder since he had made the move to the industrial city, but his lack of a thick coat and scarf was a stark contrast to those around him aside from his height. The stares he occasionally drew as he followed his current path had no real effect on him as he had long since grown accustom to them. Dips in temperatures like this didn’t faze him as much as it used to.

Even though he had grown up in a northern prefecture, Tsukishima Kei had never been fond of cold weather such as this. (Too irritating to cope with in his mind.) But since an event in the spring almost summer time two years ago, he had found the weather to play less of a roll in his life. It wasn’t so much that he couldn’t feel the fluctuations in temperatures as it was he didn’t care. Sure it had caused him to get in trouble a few times due to illness, but that was just water under the bridge for the blond.

However, despite the lack of attention to himself, he took great care in handling a slender, neatly wrapped bundle that was currently tucked within the folds of his light jacket. It was for a person that held a special place in his heart and he wanted -- no, _needed_ \-- to get it to them safely just as he had the year before and the year before that. He only made this special extra trip once a year, so he had little intention of messing it up for him and the intended recipient. Some of his friends told him time and again that he needed to curb this habit of his, making this special trip, but he never could bring himself to do it. No matter how many times the idea lingered there in his mind. Besides, it wasn’t any of their business as to what he did with his life. At least, that’s what he’d like to believe anyway.

After what seemed like an unending train ride, he made it to his destination and not a minute to late in his mind. Small towers of stone dotted the landscape before him as he stood outside the gate. It never ceased to unnerve him entering the place, so he had to take a moment to steel himself before retracing his steps of years past to stand in front of a flat slab of gray rock with a name etched into its surface. A soft sigh slipped past Tsukishima’s lips as he crouched down to get a closer vantage point of the grave marker and the name written there-

_Kuroo Tetsurou_

_11/17/19XX – 04/23/20XX_

“Hey… You miss me? Ha, of course you did. Well, happy birthday, Tetsu.”

The blond slipped the small package from his jacket- a single blue rose- and set it down gently on the cool granite surface. He knew flowers were common to bring to graves and he wasn’t fond of falling in line with that, but he doubted Kuroo would appreciate much more than that. He wasn’t really the type that liked to accept gifts much in the first place. His mind took him back to the time he got him a set of headphones despite being told repeatedly he didn’t want anything, but he could see the appreciation in his eyes then even though there was a pout distinctly on his face. Kei had wanted to laugh, but he held it in. Kuroo had a habit of being horribly adorable when things didn’t go exactly as he wanted it to.

A meow beside him brought him out of his reverie. It bothered him to feel the smile that had slipped its way onto his lips, but he fixed that soon enough as he turned to look at the cat that had settled in next to him. The feline’s coat was black as night and ridiculously unkempt which he figured was probably due to the change in weather. Raising an eyebrow, he tried to motion for the fur ball to leave only for it to sit there and stare at him expectantly with golden eyes before meowing yet again.

“What? I don’t have any food or anything for you, so shoo.”

Tsukishima frowned as the cat merely tilted its head before getting up to brush up against him, bushy tail flicking him in the face. With a huff at getting cat hair up his nose, he stood and returned his attention to the grave before him. He had come to see his boyfriend, lover, and fiancé on his birthday. Not be bothered by some stray cat that had wandered his way.

“I’ll be back again, Tetsu. Don’t get too lonely and be a bit more talkative next time, okay? See you later and I love you.”

He could feel the salty tears prick at the corners of his eyes as he spoke. He had said the same thing last year or at least something along the same lines, but the result was always the same. Sure he would probably stop saying it at some point. However, there was plenty of time before that would happen more than likely. He was too stubborn, after all.

Hearing another meow, he glanced down and weaving between his legs was the cat trying to garner his attention once more. It was around the third meow from the cat that his bottled up emotions spilled over- tears streaming down his cheeks with fists clenched tightly at his sides. A cat of all things got him to his breaking point again, but he supposed it was fitting in a strange way.

The cat must have noticed he had become upset or it was getting annoyed at not getting any attention from him as he could feel it pawing repeatedly at his pant leg. With a shaky sigh, he knelt down to pick the cat up in his arms. He was surprised when he was met with little resistance from the unruly feline, but it was a fleeting realization as he proceeded to bury his face in its dark fur. He stayed that way for what felt like an eternity before the cat nuzzled him back to reality.

“I guess I can’t just leave you here in the cold now, can I?”

A short laugh left him as the cat meowed at him like he was agreeing with him on that. He doubted the cat really understood, but he didn’t really care much at this point. He scratched the cat under the chin before looking back to Kuroo’s grave with a solemn smile. This cat had to have been his doing. Somehow, someway he made this happen or maybe he was just too emotional to think logically. Either way, he felt a part of him had been given back to him and that’s what mattered.

“You were always scheming something up, ha…”

With a soft sigh and a bundle of black fluff in his arms, Tsukishima turned his back to the memorial before leaving the cemetery. His heart was still heavy with sadness and grief for what he had lost, but he may have found a glimmer of hope in the bitter cold. Sure it was furry and had four legs, but it was something and he needed that.

“Kuro. That’s what your name is now and we’ll be together from here on out, okay?”

**Author's Note:**

> Blue rose - A perfectly blue rose is still elusive like the perfectly black rose. Blue roses cannot be achieved naturally so they represent the unattainable or the mysterious. Blue roses therefore embody the desire for the unattainable. They say "I can't have you, but I can't stop thinking about you."


End file.
